Way to Ruin It

I’ve always been a fan of The Killers, even though I’ve developed the suspicion that front man Brandon Flowers is incredibly pretentious.  A few summers ago I saw them in concert and the pictures taken from that summer’s eve lead me to believe that I had a smashing good time.  “Mr. Brightside” was, like, THE defining song of my college years.  I also quite enjoyed most of their tracks from their latest album, Day & Age.

But then they just had to cover “Four Winds” by Bright Eyes.  It’s probably the most uninspiring god-awful covers I have ever heard (or atleast the first half of the song, as I couldn’t bear to listen to anymore).  It basically sounds like the band members all took a communal dump on the original song and then released it as their own.

So now I’m not so sure about The Killers.  Everytime they come up on my itunes I change the song immediately because I remain haunted by that cover.  I wish they hadn’t gone and done that.

Cherries

Finally, after 24 years of living in the DC area, I saw the cherry blossoms.

Jefferson Memorial

Lining the Tidal Basin

Look at the Cherries

Blossoms

In a Big Country

The other day I was perusing the snack aisle in Target in search of candy a healthy snack when a package of cookies caught my eye.  There, amongst the bags of pepperidge farm Milanos and Sausalitos, was a box of TIM TAMS!  A long lost New Zealand/Australian treat that I hadn’t tasted since my days of sky diving and bungy jumping and road tripping.  In that cookie aisle of Target I was brought back to a time when all I had was an Ultimate 80s Party Mix cassette tape, a map and the open road.

My Dream Man

Ever since I finally caught an episode of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia after many months of friends recommending the show to me (which I lazily put off), I have rapidly been trying to catch up with the series.  Almost instantly I developed a huge crush on Charlie Kelly.  It could be his slovenly ways, his frequent incomprehensible and neurotic outbursts or his general inability to function in normal society but damn, what I wouldn’t give to be The Waitress.

So then I started to think about the other crush I had on Bernard Black from Black Books.  This is when I had my revelation.  Both Bernard and Charlie are more or less the same character.  What does this say about my taste in men?

I don’t seem to have much luck in the male species category, which I blame mostly on my unaffectionate demeanor and general misanthropy toward the human race.  So I guess what I’m saying is that if you’re a dude and you want to catch my fancy you should:

• present yourself in a disheveled manner, both physically and mentally
• smell bad
• be under the constant influence of alcohol and/or glue
• practice sloth; having any sort of goals is unacceptable
• lack the capacity to form any real relationships with other people

Happy Valentine’s Day!!

Staying Sane at Work

So apparently work and crappy reality TV shows keep getting in the way of me updating this blog.  Oops.  Speaking of work, what a drag that is.  You can’t blame me, though.  Editing and coding data every single minute of every single day of every single week tends to get boring.  It’s sort of like doing the same Sudoku Puzzle over and over again.  Somehow I have managed to keep my sanity (at least so far).   I think it takes a combination and delicate balance of the following:

1. 8 hours of good music on the iPod
2. 10 minute blackouts throughout the day (aka zoning out)
3. 5 work acceptable websites to frequent several times per day
4. 15 minute bathroom breaks
5. 1 bag of UTZ brand potato chips and 1 candy bar

Lets see how many more weeks I will last until I quit, get institutionalized and/or become heavily medicated.  My guess is nine.

Target Midgets

As I was flipping through this morning’s Sunday ads I was immediately taken aback by this picture in Target’s weekly ad.  Something just didn’t look right.  Was it just me or were these kids’ heads way too big and highly developed for their bodies?  I showed it to madre for a second opinion to which she replied, “What are those, midgets?” I really hope that this is a case of a bad photoshop job and these poor children aren’t that disproportionate.

Some Work and Some Play

Ever since I got a job I’ve been pretty unmotivated to do much of anything when I get home from my 9 to 5.  I’m convinced that this job is making me stupider.  The work is so repetitive that I feel like I’m only using one part of my brain the entire day. When the clock strikes 5 it’s as if I am unable to mentally function properly.  For instance, the other day I tried leaving work but could not open the door to exit the building.  I kept trying to pull the door open but it wouldn’t budge.  Finally some lady behind me said “Push”.  I’ve been at this place for almost a month and I can’t even remember how to open the door?  I felt like such a moron.  So I’ve decided that while I am wasting my life and my brain cells in front of a computer Monday-Friday, I will be wasting brain cells living it up Friday night-Sunday night.  It’s only fair.

Which brings me to Halloween 2008.  I decided to celebrate the holiday right this year.  I was tired of all the disappointing Halloweens in the past, which usually involved too many slutty bumble bees, high cover charges, and confiscated IDs.  There was really only one place that I could think of that was guaranteed fun. New York.  I just happened to know of a costume party going on in Brooklyn, so I hopped on the Chinatown Express and a few hours later I was reunited with friends, good times and beer. Lots of beer.  Five kegs of beer, to be exact.

My friends decorated their entire house, complete with blacklight spider webs, club lights, dry ice, strobe lights, a disturbing array of murder victim photographs, an Ouiji board, and lots of fake blood…which I proudly played a role in distributing.

A Blood Bath

Obviously the party ended up being a huge success.  My home made Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle costume turned out nicely.  I’m not sure if it was my turtle shell that I crafted out of cardboard and construction paper or my red plastic mop handle bo staff but I got quite a few compliments.  Twas a good time indeed.  I was sad to leave the next morning, as I passed through their horrifically demolished living room strewn about with a nude emo on a couch, broken glass bottles, an empty mangled pizza box, a plastic (i think) machine gun and one of Edward’s scissor hands.  “Until we meet again, Bensonhurst” was the only thought that came to mind.

Skittlitis

ski-ttl-i-tis n. A condition caused by consuming too many skittles, typically resulting in acidic, fruit-flavored saliva and a scratchy, sore tongue.

New Housemate

It’s a good thing I’m not scared of spiders because I found this guy in my house chilling in a corner at the bottom of the stairs.  I caught him and then set him free outside.

Hairy Spider

Best. Year. Ever.

Death Cab for Cutie at Radio City Music Hall, 10/6/08

Happy Columbus Day!

Life has been pretty great.  I start a new job tomorrow, in which I have no idea what I will be doing.  Hopefully they will fill me in on that minor detail.  I also celebrated my birthday and had a surprisingly super fun margarita chocolate fondue party at my house.  Thankfully Poppa Vern wasn’t home because I don’t think he would have appreciated the blasting music, inebriated banter and frozen drinks being blended at 2:30am.  Needless to say, I’m pretty sure everyone had a lot of fun.  The Machine took over the margarita making once I became too incompetent…and it is a well known fact that if The Machine is getting in, then it must be a good party.  On another note, I have sworn off booze until Halloween.

Also…I was able to see Death Cab for Cutie at Radio City Music Hall on Monday, October 6th. The venue was really snazzy and Death Cab put on a totally rockin’ show.  I will definitely be seeing them again!

So here’s to being 24! Best year ever!